Hello. My name is Samantha, and I am 33 years old. I grew up in Caledonia, MN and was raised Catholic. From the outside looking in, my family was perfect, unfortunately it was a very dark place behind closed doors.
My parents had their own issues, and as a result I was emotionally, mentally & physically abused. I was often neglected and locked in my room. I remember wanting to die at such a young age that I attempted to commit suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills.
At 14, I was molested by two men at a friend’s house. I never told my parents in fear of what they would do to me or that it would bring more pain in our home than I could bear. School, although better than my home life, was not a safe place for me. I never felt as though I belonged anywhere. A lot of humiliating things happened, and I couldn’t wait to graduate high school and get away from it all.
At 19, I found myself pregnant with a man who I had dated for 3 years. Neither of us were ready to be parents, so we placed our daughter up for adoption. I wish I could say I got my life together after this, but I didn’t. I found myself pregnant once again, but this time abortion seemed like my only option. I went through with it, and it was the most horrific experience of my life. The shame and guilt I have lived with since that day has been crippling and a major contributor to my drug and alcohol addiction.
I had my son Carson eight years ago. His dad and I had been together for quite a few years, but we began to drift apart and Carson bounced between our two homes. As a result, I began to go out and party when I didn’t have my son. I met a man I would eventually marry. He was extremely abusive and introduced me to cocaine. My ability to be a mom to Carson deteriorated as I became heavily addicted to drugs. One thing led to the next, and I endured so many near death experiences. Jail time and losing contact with my son and losing a close loved one to a drug overdose wasn’t enough to make me stop. I finally hit rock bottom a year ago. I had overdosed 5 times in one month and found myself back in jail. It was then I learned about Adult & Teen Challenge. After sitting 6 months, I was released at entered the doors of ATCWW. I was welcomed with open arms & without judgement, which was quite the shock after the places I had been.
Since I came into the program, I’ve made real friends that care deeply about me. I’ve met a God who loves me completely and forgives me for all the things I’ve done. There is so much freedom found in forgiveness. I’ve been able to have contact my kids again and am rebuilding those tender relationships. My family is being mended day by day. I’ve truly learned how to forgive myself and others because of what Jesus did for me on the cross! God has given me a new name! Samantha, in Hebrew, means “God has heard” … and he really has heard the cries of my heart. I know now that God has been there with me throughout my entire life, even when I was so lost. I can confidently say I know I have a purpose, and I cannot wait to help young girls. My hope and prayer is that God will use all the painful parts of my life to help others know there is a better way-God’s way! I’ve been in the program almost 7 months and don’t even resemble the girl who walked through these doors in April. On September 28th I celebrated 1 year sober. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me next throughout the rest of my program and beyond. I never thought a life free from addiction was possible, but I am here to tell you there is a way out! Give your life to Jesus, and he will set you free!